Graffiti Heart

You have broken my heart as you have tried to sweep it underneath the rug. Hoping that I may have forgotten what you have done to me. It was your kind heart that pulled me in. Now, this heart is left with a permanent scar, still trying to make it without you. This pill is too hard to swallow as tears begin to fall wishing that this never happened at all. I want to love you like there is no tomorrow. While my heart keeps on bleeding in love over you. This feeling is like a dagger straight through the heart, even though rumors have it; that you were loving someone else. This heart of mine can not deal with this heartache. As your looking for my sign of remorse, this heart is in a bit of denial if it's true. This is hurting me deep within my soul, trying not to believe everything that I am told. There goes my heart that I have laid out on the table. Tears that I have cried filled with dignity due to pain. No, I can not bear this broken heart, you put upon me. I am losing bits and pieces of myself while hiding behind a shelf carrying out all this pain. A journey of a heartbroken girl. 

As I look

 

As I look at the feature ahead of me, I see an abundance of happiness staring in front of me. Leaving behind broken hearts with tears in them.

As I look at the feature ahead of me, I see an abundance of laughter, just waiting for me. Opening up my heart as it begins to fulfill my soul.

As I look at the feature ahead of me, no signs of negativity will be visible to me, not even an ounce of me.

As I look at the feature ahead of me, I begin to see loose chains as a sign of relief.

As I look at the feature ahead of me, I give praise to the Lord for reconnecting me to my other family.

As I look at the feature ahead of me, I feel an abundance of warmth within my heart and soul.

Straight from the heart

Kill this numbness in my heart. I want to be able to say I love you like all little girls love their father.
You show no signs of affection, nor any indications that you truly care about me. I'm tired of shedding tears of the heart because you are not here! 

I can't cross that invisible line. I can't see. Growing up with just one parent hurts. I can never express how much pain I feel knowing that my father never took the time to get to know me. Even to this day, hearing lies after lies Not even a simple, "Hi, how are you?" Every day is ripping at my heart and soul. I just want to break down and cry.

I can go into the memory of writing to you, waiting so patiently for your reply. I can only recall one letter out of all those times. This letter is still with me today. There were plenty of times when I chose to give up on finding you. Just so I can have you as my father in my life, no matter how old I get, I will always want you in my life. This heart is broken into many pieces. I don't understand how much love I have around me. that my heart was able to stay together. But there is just one piece that just lays there waiting for you to piece it together.

It hurts that you make up excuses for why you can't pick up the phone or even e-mail me back. I'm sitting here playing the waiting game. A game a daughter shouldn't ever play. It's like you're mad at me for what has occurred. This incident should never have happened, but since it did, I can still live my life. Live my life with constant reminders: pop a pill in my mouth every day. 

Father - Daughter

 

I’m sick of separation. I want to have that father-daughter bond. But, I’m holding onto memories I just can’t let go of. As they say, the harder they fall, the harder they break, and that is how my heart feels, not knowing who the other half of me is. I want to mend this broken part of mine because growing up without you here twenty-four seven and three hundred and sixty-five days of the year simply breaks my heart. All I get to hear is the sound of your voice. It only gives me a feeling I cannot describe.
One day, I just want to pick up the phone and say "hey Dad." I know that day will come. I just need to take a few steps at a time. Much as silence kills a person, I know it hurts you more knowing your oldest daughter, remains silent when you are around, while nothing can ever replace the past. I just want to build a father-daughter relationship. It just needs to take a few steps at a time. I know that bond will happen, slowly but surely, it will grow through time! Just take it a few steps at a time.

Ice Cream Adventure

There are so many flavors to choose from when it comes to ice cream.

There is vanilla, chocolate, and even Napoleon. That is why there are so many other flavors to explore. But, I have just the right flavor that is just right for me. Chocolate mint ice cream is so-so yummy. Give me some more, please, with or without the cherry on top, please. And may I just add the double whipped cream with sprinkles and more chocolate chips, please?


This poem was written for a contest I had entered, and I'm one of the winners. 

See it through our eyes

 

How should I put this? See it through our eyes. There's no difference between you and me. Maybe just a little, but not a lot. I have been sitting here thinking we should all come together once again. It's like one big family because this is a community of people with different abilities. Did you see I did not use disability? The more we gather, the more we will all grow, and growing helps in many ways. I started growing in 2015 by opening up a space for people with disabilities to share their stories. And boy, what do you know, I have grown a lot by hearing other people's stories and the wisdom they have shared that I had no clue about. I have started my own journey. The same can go for you too. There are many faces I've seen before that remind me to never give up and to smile when things get rough. If I can do it, so can you. You know that there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel. You can and will reach it just by believing in yourself. If you thought I was going through a mental moment, think again. I'm doing just fine. I figured I would pay a visit and drop a little motivation for anyone who may need it because I know I need a little push sometimes too. So, here's a little motivational poetry that I randomly came up with.

Lovely Soul

When someone you care about is no longer within arm's reach, love cuts deep. And your heart hurts, forcing you to cry heartbreaking tears.

It'll never be the same not hearing your voice again. This heart breaks when I walk into a familiar location and expect to hear your lovely voice.

Knowing you didn't want to leave, I sensed your energy.

As memories poured through my mind, I found myself hurting in pain after pain, and my heart began to ache with tears.

My heart is as empty as a desert since the light you brought died out, therefore I'm waking up in silence, balling my eyes, and speaking as little as possible.

I'll always keep your memories close to my heart. In your new life, run beautiful.

Shadow

 

Here I'm with my hands positioned gracefully on the keyboard, typing each word carefully as it comes to me. My heart is racing and I feel like I'm burning up. Why can't I sleep peacefully? I'm going through an experience and all I need is sleep. I just want to heal from whatever is going on inside me.

I can't leave this space because this soul needs to heal. And I know I will come out gratefully.

Through these eyes

 It's been a while since I kept these eyes closed, and not once did I envision these things happening to me. These eyes are at the crossroads of two worlds: the spiritual realm and mother earth. Constant traffic on both ends. Can I get some form of relief? Observant as I was born to be, down on mother earth, some people live on excuses. That leads to deceit. Here I'm holding things back and letting the spiritual realm take over.

At times, I need a way to escape. But, I really don't know where to run off to either. So, I find myself taking in all that is around me.I feel like there really isn't anyone to reach out to. As a result, I settle into silience because I know only one spirit sees everything.