Uneasy

 

I want to wake up one day feeling no need for walking on broken glass, for many years I have fought for freedom that some people choose not to see because they're very closed-minded. Have you ever tried to speak and get shut down very quickly? this is my communication pain and need a serious solution to rid this pain away. 

 I'm an individual with an educational story to tell, some stories are in book format and other are spoke in plain sight. Behind these close door stand's a brilliant young woman, a person who will away wear their heart on their sleeves. There is some bitter confusion that really eats at this heart. So, it's always better out than in. How do you deal with a force of jealousy and no this isn't me? 

  I have no tolerance for this behavior and I can't really sleep like I used to. I lying in a space that's really making me very uncomfortable, I can't tolerate this behavior of evilness, another Cinderella story expect the is no horse-drawn carriage, or a prince to sweep this person away. Waking up should feel very rewarding without feeling frigid weather down your back with a windstorm of unkind words. So, why feed someone negative words and create division filled with lies? This is really causing more than pain in an individual, psychological evaluation is needed desperately! Is there really anyone out there who can relate to this? come reach out to this positive heart.

Hear no evil, see no evil

I'm waiting for this story to unfold, clingy individuals who can't see the positive side of things, always looking for something wrong in others. They always send off negative energy setting off anxiety. Like, Where has the light gone. The world hears nothing but lies when the truth is hidden somewhere inside, tired of this super clinginess. Like, Saran Wrap on a bowl. I'm feeling super stressed out from time to time, with trying to maneuver around things just to live to the best. So, I can finally reach towards my accomplishments. Then here come darkness covering, the Iris were you barely see the sclera. I'm clearly not resting like I should be, dealing with things thrown at me. Pointer finger goes to the lips, sh! This is reality of something crying out for attention in mysterious ways. breath reeks and it's really hard to speak, no this isn't about me. I don't need any competition when trying to hold a conversation, with all truth and honesty just listen please. Shall words be spoken to someone who is difficult to reach, a person who sees a conversation as a competitive competition? I want to have a verbal break down and mentally lie in silence because I need to clear things away. Hear no evil, see no evil this is what it needs to be.

Devine

 

I see spirit's from time to time and it really irks me, some are walking within living souls driving other living souls insane. Can we breathe in silence and exhale without pain. Avoidance can become quite hard for most of them, while others play life-like a deck of cards, pulling out all the jokers straight-handed.  

  I dare you not to nod your head in agreement nor disagreement stay completely still with your ears wide open.  Lucifer plays with fire and waiting for you to get burned. He is here to watch your sin. Like, the jokers that are on the table, they're not there to see you win. Lost for lost is their game. 

  Can we scream for victory when it rains, I'm done with the constant barriers placed by the non-believer, throwing out their beliefs about what they see for you. I speak upon the truth and will take my words to war. So, Lucifer can sit in between the fire he has created and watch God's earthly angels soar for victory because we're number one. 

Numb

 Can I sob right here-- not many will ever understand me. I do try  to the best of my ability to speak. But, it's being taken in the wrong fashion. So, how can I break it down into words, I guess you won't ever know... its you that don't want to understand. So, I'll put it into words here. 

  I have said this for years, difficulty speaking to people. And to others don't want to try to understand this problem. I rather not balance like I should, nor try to put out any flames. Damn life was better when things were kept in silence, even though, it was causing me pain internally.

 am I wrong for finding a place to rid the pain away, through others eyes they take it that way.  

 Poetry is my greatest escape to a place, a mind that holds on to physical pain you didn't want to listen to. Don't get me wrong I indulge in happiness, and happiness is the biggest escape ever. And you hear these words too. Therefore, poetry is my mental and physical therapy, a place that allows me speak without judgement. I have times where pain needs a dose of talk therapy, to help clear this thought process. So, I can begin to feel like myself again.

Victory!

    Here we are standing with determination at the starting line, we all have the same adrenaline rush flowing through our veins the minute the announcer says Go! I'm an athlete with one goal in mind, only one person can reach that finish line.

     There's something uniquely special about every athlete here. despite their disabilities and I can't put my finger on it. 

Is it their smile waiting for the announcer to say the magic word? 

Is it their mindset, in how they think about the game and, how they're going to play?  I really don't know.  I can only speak for myself in how I will play the game. 

  So, here I go creating a checklist: Bowling shoes, Check, Bowling gloves to get a good grip, Check, and of course a bowling ball with a bowling bag, are all checked off this checklist. 

    Now I'm standing front in the center at the bowling lane, making sure the ball does not come out of the gutter, doing my darndest not to hit a spare. So, I slowly ease my fist up toward my mouth with a slight bend in my knee because this is about to become my victory hit. 

 

   

Journey just got real

This goes out to the public...you can clearly see me. 

  My eyes maybe hidden behind these shades. And nothing but positive goals running through this mind. Anyone who choose to stare at me for long periods of time, trying their darnest to pick out flaws, I simply got words for you. 

  I ain't got time to drown on your sunk in ship, I rather rise high and beyond. If you want to flooded these ears with a bunch of negativity, I'll let you know I don't have no time nor space for that. You can flood many ears with that... I have dreams and goals. So, I'll carry my life remote with me... I know there will be plenty of negative people who don't have clear intention of me. 

 If you are not on my side in seeing, what I'm truly capable of, I won't stand still just to make you happy. 

My Journey

There is something I truly need to get off my chest, and I'm truly proud of this accomplishment. I woke up a few weeks ago. Like, I haven't even thought about lifting up an eyelid, ha ha ha, very funny I must say. Don't mind me that's the nerd inside of me. So, I pour myself a glass of punch... This chic don't sip on liquid courage.

Oops I poured too much. But, it never so hard to shallow with a door wide open.

  I have moments where I completely felt drained. So, I clearly drain out every sound just to listen to the voice inside my head.

  Can I get to my destination, or will I ever find peace? Theses two questions always resonate in the back of my mind, until I begin to see everything fall into place.

  Dreams only come when you put forth the effort, and I have done that for some time now. Therefore,  two opportunities came knocking and,  you bet I kept walking. Now it looks like I'm hitting the road.