Envious

 

Nights and Days seem to be rough most days. This body from time to time is showing it. Especially, in the eyes. I know some can truly relate without the hashtag me too.
Here comes my spiritual gift and spirits don't lie, there are two human beings taking life like it's a competition with me. I knew this from the get-go. And I clearly don't get the whole point in this. There is true jealousy at its finest when one human being, only wants to poke fun at me. Never do they ever want to hold a genuine conversation. I don't see what it is about me that, you need to compete. I find myself shutting down and not in tears because I'm over it. I clearly just can't talk without me too coming behind. Therefore, I pulled the plug slightly on this side.
  Sleeping some nights is really draining, this body wake's up in pain sometimes. I can truly tell you why. But, only a few will take the time to understand. As for others will shout out to me too. And this is no competition because, at the end of the day, nobody walks away with a plaque saying you are the greatest. Sometimes I feel the energy moving around, and it causes me to feel pain. I can't explain the difference in words verbally. What I can do is express them in a different form, my whole body is spaced out, and my ears feel clogged with a lot of spirits whispering. It is like an out-of-body experience.

Picture: A female wearing a fuchsia nightcap and a light blue robe. her eyes are closed. There is an effect on the photo, a Mirror effect making the photo appear like there are two of the same person. 

Spiritual Gift

 

I'm lying silent among over half a million, my story has been shared multiple time's and I'm not even finished with it yet. I hold on to yet another story, a story that connects with a different realm, on a spiritual aspect, I can hear spirits and see them at times. A Journey that was out of my control, causing a bit of frustration, due to all the noise that runs through my head. I want to tell people don't be afraid of me, God has blessed me with a powerful gift, a gift to be able to read into the past and into the future.

 

Invisible Pain

Can anyone hear me out there when this pain is excruciating. Like, there is no tomorrow and all I rather do is lie still because no one around me will ever get to know what this pain begins to feel like. I want to sit in silence and listen to the voice's inside my head because these voices are the only beings that can really understand me.

 This body can predict the weather before it hits, don't ask, it just does. I want to lie still bundled up underneath tons of cover's. Like, Antarctica came rushing through. I'm drained as Hell physically and Mentally at times, you ought to see me sometimes walking like a zombie during the daytime though. This body goes through so much pain physically and at times can't pinpoint which angle it's coming from.  Is this a do or die Hypothyroidism party, or Osteoporosis pain? Gland to bone must really throw a grand celebration.  
  hypothyroidism you drain me to there's no end, sending this body on a wacked out ride, putting this mind in a complicated state. Chronic emotions no one will ever get the memo because this body is definitely going through some mood swings.

  Snap, Crackle and Pop where is the milk, bones are lacking thy essentials because here comes Hypothyroidism stealing the bones thunder. So, this body is really physically confused and motivation is desperately draining. This body needs a physical and mental push to stay up float. Therefore, can I let out a silent cry, and please don't ask why because you won't ever get it. Change of weather hits and this body is really in pain, I can't tell if it's Hypothyroidism mimicking signs of Fibromyalgia, or osteoporosis causing osteoarthritis. Damn this body is feeling it these days and I just want to lie here and allow it to run it course.

Uneasy

 

I want to wake up one day feeling no need for walking on broken glass, for many years I have fought for freedom that some people choose not to see because they're very closed-minded. Have you ever tried to speak and get shut down very quickly? this is my communication pain and need a serious solution to rid this pain away. 

 I'm an individual with an educational story to tell, some stories are in book format and other are spoke in plain sight. Behind these close door stand's a brilliant young woman, a person who will away wear their heart on their sleeves. There is some bitter confusion that really eats at this heart. So, it's always better out than in. How do you deal with a force of jealousy and no this isn't me? 

  I have no tolerance for this behavior and I can't really sleep like I used to. I lying in a space that's really making me very uncomfortable, I can't tolerate this behavior of evilness, another Cinderella story expect the is no horse-drawn carriage, or a prince to sweep this person away. Waking up should feel very rewarding without feeling frigid weather down your back with a windstorm of unkind words. So, why feed someone negative words and create division filled with lies? This is really causing more than pain in an individual, psychological evaluation is needed desperately! Is there really anyone out there who can relate to this? come reach out to this positive heart.

Hear no evil, see no evil

I'm waiting for this story to unfold, clingy individuals who can't see the positive side of things, always looking for something wrong in others. They always send off negative energy setting off anxiety. Like, Where has the light gone. The world hears nothing but lies when the truth is hidden somewhere inside, tired of this super clinginess. Like, Saran Wrap on a bowl. I'm feeling super stressed out from time to time, with trying to maneuver around things just to live to the best. So, I can finally reach towards my accomplishments. Then here come darkness covering, the Iris were you barely see the sclera. I'm clearly not resting like I should be, dealing with things thrown at me. Pointer finger goes to the lips, sh! This is reality of something crying out for attention in mysterious ways. breath reeks and it's really hard to speak, no this isn't about me. I don't need any competition when trying to hold a conversation, with all truth and honesty just listen please. Shall words be spoken to someone who is difficult to reach, a person who sees a conversation as a competitive competition? I want to have a verbal break down and mentally lie in silence because I need to clear things away. Hear no evil, see no evil this is what it needs to be.

Devine

 

I see spirit's from time to time and it really irks me, some are walking within living souls driving other living souls insane. Can we breathe in silence and exhale without pain. Avoidance can become quite hard for most of them, while others play life-like a deck of cards, pulling out all the jokers straight-handed.  

  I dare you not to nod your head in agreement nor disagreement stay completely still with your ears wide open.  Lucifer plays with fire and waiting for you to get burned. He is here to watch your sin. Like, the jokers that are on the table, they're not there to see you win. Lost for lost is their game. 

  Can we scream for victory when it rains, I'm done with the constant barriers placed by the non-believer, throwing out their beliefs about what they see for you. I speak upon the truth and will take my words to war. So, Lucifer can sit in between the fire he has created and watch God's earthly angels soar for victory because we're number one. 

Numb

 Can I sob right here-- not many will ever understand me. I do try  to the best of my ability to speak. But, it's being taken in the wrong fashion. So, how can I break it down into words, I guess you won't ever know... its you that don't want to understand. So, I'll put it into words here. 

  I have said this for years, difficulty speaking to people. And to others don't want to try to understand this problem. I rather not balance like I should, nor try to put out any flames. Damn life was better when things were kept in silence, even though, it was causing me pain internally.

 am I wrong for finding a place to rid the pain away, through others eyes they take it that way.  

 Poetry is my greatest escape to a place, a mind that holds on to physical pain you didn't want to listen to. Don't get me wrong I indulge in happiness, and happiness is the biggest escape ever. And you hear these words too. Therefore, poetry is my mental and physical therapy, a place that allows me speak without judgement. I have times where pain needs a dose of talk therapy, to help clear this thought process. So, I can begin to feel like myself again.