Filter

I was born in Philadelphia Pennsylvania and, plan on going back sometime soon... I know that's were my heart leads me. So, I can finish up my journey there, a journey that has lead me to this dream, of becoming a Paraprofessional Teacher Assistant. My road's has become quite stumpy. But, I have figured out how to dodge a few. And still working continuously on the others. So, I can see a much bigger picture, then what others see for me. I shall go through tunnels, to avoid the unnecessary bumps in my path...Lucifer wants to, see me fail. But, I am not going to make him proud. My silence is golden... some people never thought I could carry out this dream. And I should be very damn proud of it too. Why a matter of fact I am. So, why aren't most people, proud of me too. Like, Martin Luther King onces said: I have a dream, and that he did. But, everyone's dreams are quite different. Therefore, I won't carry a filter through my journey. And if there is a hole that: Lucifer placed to keep me away, I will give him a piece of my mind. This mind will be uncensored. And no its not carrying filth that your imaging. I have been quiet for so long, and now it's time for me, to finally speak. So, this life I am living behind these closed doors, can finally breathe. I will continue to carry my heart on my sleeve. But, you better not disrespect me, or the tables will definitely turn. So, I will leave it up to: our almighty creator God... I am going to continue on this path, which I have drawn. I will continue to remain strong, even if my soul is cut deep. And my heart just can't take it anymore, I will cleanse my soul. Like, the rain cleanse the Earth. No filter ya, No filter... I am going to make sure, I complete this journey.

Dear Regina

Today, I had stop by to, pay my best friend a visit. No! I did not shed tears---I didn't want to open up a wound. But, every once in a while, I do hear her voice. And its nothing like, her voice on Earth. So, how do I know it's her? I feel it through my heart and my soul, and that's how I know. Three years has gone pass, and within my heart and soul, I know the truth of how everything went down...the truth never lies. And I don't need to be around to figure it all out. Should I speak the truth, or allow the universe reveal it to you? Why let me just tell you. It Nov 27, three years ago and, I am on constant check up, on my dearest best friend... I know she's not feeling too well. She like blood related to me and, that the way I see it. Therefore, I let out a loud scream with, my eyes flooding with tears. So, I begin to run up the stairs, to rely the message to my mom. And that's where I truly broke down, as a call was being made to her mom. I am very sensitive when it comes to souls, and right then and there, my gut kicked in and told me: what went wrong. Should I get in trouble for, holding the truth away from you? Clearly not because the truth never hides. This is where my gut kicks in. So, I hope your ready to hear the truth. She came into my dreams, not once but twice. The first visit was very clearly, her and I shopping...she loved to shop. And in the second, dream was her in a field of yellow flowers. They could almost pass as sunflower. And that's were she said: Good bye. And this was before the situation happened. Now, shall we fast ward to the actual day? I don't mind if we do--- the truth needs to be set free. I'm no fan of nursing home to tell you the truth...of all the horrible stories I have heard. And through telling you this, my gut clearly is very verbal, when I say this: She was murdered by the hands of the nurse. Yes! I only speak the truth so help me God! She was clearly getting better by the days. And was on her way to recovery, until this wrongful act took place. So, now she up in heaven watching us all, while she even telling me these things. And I she not wrong. Poetry corner This poem hits deep into the surface, of my best friend who is in the picture.

Rupture Exposure

I close my eyes just to, hear the rhythm of my heart beat. And to be completely honest with you, I don't hear a steady rhythm at all. I am laying motionless in a daze, hoping that my ears did not give out on me, and here I go panicking. But, I just can't move my body. I can clearly see myself moving about. But, where am I? I am in a state of panic, while I am in this blood cold room. Now I am still laying here motionless, thinking about wether: my life is worth living and, oops goes the Ace of spades. This heart and soul has been tampered with and, now I am thinking: should I even waste time, wondering about life... I have been broken by, the ones who I love. The ones who... dearly close to my heart. I really don't want to pull back scar's after scar's, just to reveal how deeply, you have punctured this soul. So, I am leaving these wounds covered. So, they can finally heal... I never thought a heart could bleed like this before. And I can physically move my body... this heart won't rupture no more. 💔

Picture of strength

When your hurting inside and, you have tried your damnedest to speak. But, every road you take, to voice your pain, gets shut down, your better off keeping it to yourself. So, it can cause more pain then anyone else can imagine. I'm done with short and sweet apologise, with a gift to come with it. And all that does is causes flashback, and more tears. So, I am better off not speaking at this point---whenever I have tried, I get verbally attack. And this soul grows stronger with tears, which you see as a sign of weakness. I have written a letter to God to reach out too--- I am really done with dealing with this mess. Therefore, if you want to cause war between us, I will begin to show you that, I am no longer going to put up with this mess. And no my actions will not be short, nor sweet... throughout those years, I have tried to share with you, and you than shut me down. Therefore, I have found a better alternative and, its not what you think it is. So, you can continue to believe whatever. But, when I finally reach my breaking point, and you don't see me anymore, this will become your biggest regret... once I walk out the door, I am never coming back...this is my final break through.

So long and gone forever

For many years, I have been striving to reach my inner peace. And to truly find out who,what and where I need to be. But, I am always getting slapped in my face, with things that are no longer my problem. So, I have reached about the end of my rope because, I will always hear both sides of the story. And never shone anyone away. But, I have seen through many years of, how the devil works in so many ways. Therefore, I will continue to be who I am setting out to become. And there's no room for two... I have drawn out my journey on my own. People can walk and talk, and say a whole lot of bull. But, I dare you, not one of you can put two and two together, to get a clearer picture. So, when this wick from my candle burns out, I will leave you with something sweet. And that will be the last you will ever hear from me. Like, that quote: what you do behind someone else back, you are doing in front of God eyes, really makes sense to me. But, I will remain silent and, leave the work up to God... Your karma will come in time. And you can say whatever you want. But, my eyes and ears has: seen and heard enough. So, you can take your bitter pill and shallow, while I continue to pray for you... that the right thing to do.

Drifting inside a dream

Its 2 AM and I am lying wide awake in my bed, trying to figure out why, did my body awake me. Now I am feeling all nervous as hell, and my stomach is feeling uneasy, and I can't fall back to sleep so easily. I quickly turn on the lights and, laid there with my eyes fixated on the clock, trying to ramble through all my thoughts... this body has me all shook up. And No! I am not an insomniac. So, you can erase that, thought right out of your head. Two hours have passed and, now these eyes are closing slowly, taking me back into dreamland. I don't know what my body is telling me, is this really a message at all? But, I do know that: this is not my sleep pattern. So, why is my body reacting this way. am I out in a dream, and can someone please tell me what is happening?

Six feet deep

You gave me life and taught me how to fight. But, there are times, I just want to throw in the towel and walk away from everything... some people just want to remain blind. And act like I don't have a life to live. So, I must called upon you...I know you will see things through. Have you ever had a bitter taste in your mouth that, you don't know how it got there. And you begin to ramble through your thoughts. But, it just doesn't click? well that taste is definitely you. I can't barely breathe anymore---my heart has been shattered all over the floor. And this soul lays clinch in the corner, crying slightly because I just can't speak these words to you. And we all know why, I am continuously breaking, and barely even speaking. So, I will keep praying to my father...he will help me through. I have painted a clear picture of my goals and, I know you don't want to see, what lays ahead for me. But, I am not going stop because you want me too. This is my journey and I will keep moving, even though, you don't want me too. So, you can keep trying to hold me back. And play with Satan deck of cards... the truth will set me free, while everyone can clearly see your not human anymore. Therefore, you have allowed Satan to take ownership of your body. And now your extremely pissed at the world---no one will keep still for you. So, let me set this straight because I am an adult, and I refuse to hold onto: things you try to damage me with. I won't allow you nor anyone to walk all over me. Like, I have a permanent tattoo that reads: Welcome written across my forehead. Therefore, step back Satan because this woman is a child of God. And God will deal with you accordingly...for years, he has been building a path, and I will make it through.

Loud

I am done with living on this road called: confusion. And I am going to tell you why... some people want to dig up, your past so they can try their best, to ruin your future. I do not have any time for your bull shit... I have things, I need to do. So, you can sit back and sip on wine, or the Kool-aid of your choice. And as far as this chick goes, she has true business to take care of. Therefore, I am going to keep on moving, just because I can. And I won't hold back on my goals or my career. You choose left, and I have chosen right. So, now go move on with your life. And stop trying to dig up the past. So, you can create some drama because you don't have a life.

Love Vibes

There goes the sound of thunder, shattering the clouds, and the rain falling down on mother earth. So, can we truly find love here on earth, or will every single individual, be left alone. Let's look at this picture. But, you must close your eyes, and think about: how everything on earth has multiple. Like, every living thing. Therefore, can every single individual find love, just like the rain that hits mother earth? the answer is: Yes! I have never been shy when it came to love. But, I only allowed my eyes to wander. Like, I am reading a good book. I saw a few that my heart truly fell in love with. But, only just in return be rejected. And did I shed any tears...my heartfelt incomplete? No, I just kept silent. So, my eyes can keep on reading through, mother earth land... I know he out there waiting for me. So, I must give you, what, I am truly looking for: Respect, Honesty, non-judgemental, and please keep your lungs clean. if you have them all, you could be the perfect match for me. And who knows this heart could have a happy ending. Poetry corner This piece is a true story of my past, and this soul is still searching while remaining focus on my career journey.

Escape

You are the flower of innocence, as others want to proclaim you for doing wrong. But, I know you will put them to shame. So, I am going to tell you: its alright to shed those tears---its a sign of strength. And its okay to voice your words. So, you can rethink your plan. People will be people. Therefore, don't let their words hurt your game, all their doing is creating shit because they like the smell of it. But, let this be a message to you, my dear queen: speak your voice however you choose. And don't let their words affect you. Their only spitting out, their own image...they want to be like you. Therefore, this is their fire and don't feel a shame, you continue being you. And don't worry about the Bullshit games. This is another story, I feel the need to place right here... I am done with dealing with dramatic situations that, have nothing to do with me. I won't stand for your backlash and untrue stories about me. And while you are searching for poison, I am trying to find a cure to my remedy. So, if my words didn't hit a soft spot, I dare you to keep it going... the next time you will be truly sorry! My story has too many holes in it that, I am trying to find a patch. So, I can learn how to become much stronger and, not let everyone's words affect me. But, I am not going to remain silent, and yes I will only speak the truth... I know the effect of Karma. Therefore, you and I will get our dose. So, until then, I will continue to keep moving forward. 

Cinderella's call

Dear Cinderella, You have a beautiful name. And I really don't understand why, your family would treat you like a slave. But, then again blood, can treat you bad too. Like, there is no shame. Cinderella, take that worn down gown off, and find yourself something much beautiful to wear. And why not go out and let down your hair... you deserve, a much better life. And if your family don't know, how to treat you right, do what's best for you, and leave them be. People who mistreat others will get what's coming to them. So, just go out and be free! Poetry Corner I can not take credit for this picture. But, these are my own words. 

Soul of Harmony

        I may not have scars to show you that: I am hurt on the outside. But, I have dealt with constant pain throughout my life. I have cried so many tears of joy, that in your mind you wish it never happened. And now I am in a space in my life, where I need to grow more and more independently. There are times I wish I could physically pull back this skin of mine, just so I can show the world--- how deeply I am hurting from this pain. So, please don't mistake this smile for happiness---I tend to use it as a band-aid.

I shall not hide from no one--- it can grow into depression, leading up to much bigger problems that this body does not need. And through this, I shall gain back my self confidence that I once had as a young child.

True Story Actually

I need somewhere to put this story. So, I am going to put it right here. I have been struggling for sometime now, and I am glad to have won a few battles. In 2015, one of my struggles became my reality, I fought so hard until, I eventually won. And yes I had negative words thrown at me, including my own words...based off, of others who did not want to see the best in me. But, I broke ground and got my foot in the door. And some people were proud of me than others. But, I got through it and a new struggle awaits me, and its really hurts, that no words can describe. But, I will do my best to describe it any way, without the tears in my eyes. I am a woman, who will not bite my tongue, I will say what I feel. And when it comes to speaking, around some people, they just don't get it. So, its their words over mine...speaking is hard for me, and resulting to paper is a definite no. So, I still try my best to speak even though, I am trying. But, it hurts sometime... I know exactly what, I want to say and its not coming out. So, here goes silence. I don't want to remain silent... I love to talk. So, if you even come across me, don't thinking I am mad, I just have a hard time speaking. So, do indeed help me and not attack me. Plus, I have more struggles that, Iam dealing with. But, in time you will hear it all, or did I lay it down inside my poetry. Like, Malcolm Gladwell writes his books. I will tell you this much, not every written poetry has me inside of it. So, I will leave you guessing. True story actually! Poetry Corner This poem is real about the two struggles, I had and still having. So, I am glad to see you have read this far. And yes, I do have pieces of me, lingering inside of my poetry. But, not in every piece, just like Gladwell in his books.

The Truth behind this shadow

I am calling Houston, we have a problem. I am mentally stuck in a situation, and I seriously need to get out. I have been dealing with this for quite some time now. And I need some guidance... the situation is physically breaking me, and it's not my fault. I really don't wish this pain on no one. But, only a few can see this pain. I will continue to move forward, and break this chain... I have rights just like any other human being. I am done with your so-called pretend, every-time something is ailing me: Oh I have that too. I am done with all the comparisons. And I know we all go through that too. But, it has become too much out of hand. And it's really beginning to show itself to the world. Yes! Strangers can see right through it. So, it's not only me. But, I will break through this battle and will gain access to freedom... I am laying out the truth behind this shadow.

Heaven prayers

Confidence

Roses are red and Violets come in many shades of colors. But, who's to say that: they are only Blue? A child whose heart is filled with, nothing but sadness, can only tell you the truth. And every human that walks among this Earth can agree to disagree with me... your heart had felt sadness too. And on occasion, you still feel heartbroken. Have you ever stared out the window, to see life moving past you? But, in your mind, you keep feeling determined to push through, any negative labels, others try to place on you. I am not ashamed to say that: I am that person who will smash you like a bug... you do not have any faith in me. I know you don't want to be around me...of my struggles. So, you will plaster on this phony smile, when you are around others, and they can clearly see it too. And when you have me all to yourself, I become a competition. And to tell you the truth, it truly irritates me to shreds. Therefore, I really shouldn't have to deal with it. But, I have to keep in mind that: I had lived many lives before. Like, a friend has told me: my soul is a goddess angel, I can live through this one too. Including, frustration, heartbreak, and tears. So, today I will not hold onto any negative words. And most definitely, will not go through hell trying to give, any explanation because it's time to set myself free. 

 Poetry Corner I want to share a little something about this picture. But, before I do, I want to let you know that, I do believe every living plant has a meaningful meaning behind it. Therefore, it's whether you believe in it or not. But, I am not here to judge you. what I will say: Chrysanthemum (White), mean: Trueness. And I am a girl who loves flowers. So, this picture fits this poem well.

Remedy

My heart is in so much pain, that you can't even begin to understand. People will say: Reality is quite a B***h. But, this pain is so deep that, no surgeon can stitch. Every day I am trying to break down negative barriers--- some people have, little knowledge of my capabilities. You take my strength as a sign of weakness. But, each day I keep going stronger. I don't need eyes on me 24/7, making me feel like I am under surveillance. And if anything, just be patient and allow your eyes to see, pass my disability... I am no different than anyone else. Therefore, there are tears that I shed, that become my only way of healing. 

Reaching out

I don't understand why you keep giving me a hard way to go. And it's not like, I asked for a life of broken promises. And you want to keep a tight hold on me. You are truly breaking this soul... it hurts deep. So, I am going to keep reaching out to the universe... I know it hears and see's, what's going on. So, you can say and do, whatever you please. But, God knows what your heart is full of, and the world sees it too. I am done with having to feel like, I need to hide and stay wrapped up in a cocoon for most of my life. And always staying in because of someone else guilt. And I am not the one who is holding onto it. Plus there are many others who have seen and noticed that you are not what, you claim to be. I want my freedom, and it comes in a big package. You will not hinder me for your own satisfaction... will you try to mentally distort my mind, causing my brain to go haywire... I am not going to hold back... I have held on for so long. So it's time for you to let go. I do have the courage to speak and say how I truly feel. But, I won't allow you nor anyone else, to keep me away from reaching my destiny. I had built my path many years ago, and I even place a sign of encouragement, with every road I took, fighting off negative words...you did not want to see me reach. I have learned to keep on pushing because I chose to be somewhere, and that path is slowly approaching. Therefore, when that day arrives, my bags will be packed, and this door will be closed shut... I have ended my battle with you. And finally broke the cord, to my voice of freedom... with my power of strength that once was tried, became stronger and broke down your barrier walls. 

 Poetry corner These are my words. But, I can't take credit for this photo. These are Foxglove flowers.

Freedom Dance

I am done with having my heart struck. Like a guitar string until it breaks. And this environment being filtered with toxicity. Can I drink my tea without, having venom floating inside. And having more positive feeling,instead of being scared...how you sit and proceed me is, only the image of yourself. And for many years, I have witness a pattern also similar, to someone we all know. But, you wanted to make this person character bad. So, you can fulfill your dirty little scheme, Your evilness is easily seen. And its not only through my eyes, who can this. Like they always say: Karma is a B***h, just like a poisonous snake. And I will continue to fight my battles...I won't settle for weakness. And just in case you did not know, my "Freedom Of Speech". So, I will begin building my boundaries, to keep all of Satan spells away from me---I am a firm believer in Jesus Christ. Jesus I will only raise to your orders---I am a child of our father, God. The Devil shall be bury deep underneath, our feet as we dance to this masquerade because I am free. Poetry Corner: I can not take ownership of this picture. But, these are my words.

Scream

Sometimes I want to run and hide--- from the daily struggles that I live with. It's like a no-win situation, and for some, it becomes a verbal war. God, I pray to just build me up and open their eyes wider because they don't really know, how it feels to be me. The beginning of my life could have been hell. But, through the grace of you, God, I am alive and proud. But, it hurts knowing that, I have a challenge that is unbearable at times. But, others don't see it, and it becomes quite frustrating to speak. Especially, around those who really know me. And sometimes I wish they could step out, and try to walk a day in my shoes. But, it's nearly impossible for them to grasp. So, why do I even need to speak, if my communication becomes complicated to them... I need to be heard. Therefore, I struggle with communicating, and I do my best to understand. But, don't get mad at me, when I can not respond to your conversation... you have used words out of my vocabulary. So, that makes your conversation, extremely difficult for me to reply to. Therefore, please don't lose your patience with me, I just need a much clearer understanding. So, please don't scream at me!!!

 Poetry Corner This poem is about me and, my life living with an invisible disability. Yes, I have difficulties with speaking at times. And it becomes extremely frustrating...the words don't come outright.


 Note: These are my words. But, I can not take credit for this picture.

Words Of Power

How can I see the world behind these closed doors, and the sound of traffic that rush through constantly, I can not see the world--- no matter what, I can not have a life. I cry me a river and, now it only builds up my self-esteem. But, each time I continue to walk down that road, there goes entity of stagnant, keeping me inside because it wants to stunt my growth. I am done with this pain you constantly keep inflicting on me, I can't breathe without a constant scratch on my back, nor walk with pleasure, with mother nature beside me. It's really a game of tug-a-war, and I am tired of playing. But, I will not remain in solitary confinement just to make someone else soul happy. You may not like my path because you choose not to see it. But, God has given me the power to walk, and I will take full advantage of it. So, I can see my destiny through. Therefore, stagnant you can let go of me because I am walking static-free. 

 Poetry Corner: I can not take credit for this photo. But, these words are mines.

Bruise

There are no rainbows in the sky, and that always brings tears to my eyes ---Its a hard-knock life for me! Living and breathing with a invisible disability that no one can see, unless they are behind these door working with me. Even though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I over came the devils obstacles, and will continue to push right through the rest. I had held onto my story for way to long, feeling like if I were to finally speak, the world would turn against me. I truly was not born this way. Like most people might think. This story is quite painful and, I hope there someone who can, step out for a second or two, just to walk a day in my shoes. And not try to compete with me. Like, what I am dealing with each day is clearly no game. I am trying to live my life without strings attached. But, its very hard and I will continue, until that final cord snaps... I am done with getting bruised, and it's time for these bruise to heal. So, I can become much stronger. Work cited page Its a hard-knock life - Musical Annie Psalm 23.4 Poetry Corner I can take credit for these words. But, I can not take credit for these photos Image may contain: one or more people No automatic alt text available.

Daddy lil girl

In the morning, I cut back tears, while my heart begins to heal from this distant pain. Sometimes I sit down in silence wondering, if you are thinking about me--- I know I'm thinking of you. I have spent so many years without you by my side. Especially, when I truly needed you the most, all I could do is, break down and cry. But, you were never there to wipe away my heartachingly tears which I had shed. And all I had to look back on was photographic memories that bring heartachingly tears. Now, my heart is left with a permanent scar. I had a dream, just like Martin Luther King once had. But, my dream is quite different, and I know that, I will progress in this dream journey. And I won't waste another second, allowing my heart to hold onto this pain...this pain can leave a mental effect on your soul. And I don't understand why someone so cold-heartedly would inflict pain upon a young child's soul...that child's soul is nothing to be tempered with. And a parent should cherish their child's desire, and not keep a child away, so they can be gleeful, being with that child. Daddy lil girl, will walk down many aisles, in her journey through life. And her heart will be filled with joy, knowing when she spots her father, her heart shall be full again, knowing that she is ready to wrap up all this pain. Daddy if you are out there, as the voice of a young girl speaks, she no longer wants her heart to be drenched with pain, she wants her father to console her, letting her know everything will be okay... it's time for her soul to heal. So, the next time daddy's lil girl cries, it will be tears of joy. 

 Poetry Corner: These words I can take credit for. But, this picture I can not. Image may contain: one or more people

Jealousy heart

I am done with trying to show you, everything I am capable of. But, you keep playing these: I am blind games. And see only what you want to see. Therefore, I really don't see any communication with you because of all you done. I shall not bring up every little pain, that you have cause my heart. And with every painful word, you have inflect upon me, my vocabulary becomes short with you. I really don't need your seal of approval any more...I already knew, your heart is full of jealousy. And I am not the only one who senses that. If you can not allow the light, to radiant your heart and soul, I must let you go. I have built my road to success, a very long time ago. And through that road, I have made quite of improvement, your heart did not feel joyful for. But, you want to place on a fake smile, and make up non exist stories of other people. If only fire can catch fire, you would be set straight. But, your time is coming very soon, and it will bite. Like, a toddler who poot in its diaper. If you stare directly into a lion eyes, you can easily sense their weakness. And that is something they can not hide. They want to be the center of attention, just like Gemini's, which is so fairly true. I may have fallen on my enchantment path. But, I have managed to brush off any gravel that cling to me...those hearts that are full of light, will see my progress. But, in reality I know you can careless about me. And that really tears at my soul, knowing you would allow jealousy to enter your heart. But, I knew for many years,your heart was never in the right place. And that really eats at my heart, knowing that about you. Therefore, I will keep moving because I know what you are after, and I won't allow you to hinder me. so, you can use me to know end. Poetry corner: This picture I can not take credit for. But, with every word that flows, came from me.

Air Against Fire

Every day I am thankful for life. And I can only thank one spirit alone for that, and that is my Father God. Each day he sees what I am up against, and he is there to guide me through it. Especially, when he hears my sighs of frustration, or when he hears my heart-breaking tears. God is the only one I shall only rely on. I know hearts are tangible, and very hard to repair once broken. But, if I kept count for every broken heart, my life would not be very strong...the devil only keeps track of that. But, I will say that God has given me a brain, which holds onto a lot of things. And I am very wise to see straight through the devil trickery. Therefore, when the devil tries to fight with me, I am not going to cut around, any brushes... you will hear from me. So, if my slang comes out choppy, that is okay because God knows what I am trying to say and that is all that matters. The voice inside my head says: Dear God, You see and hear my struggles. And you know what I am up against, you have built me to be a WARRIOR! with thick skin. And not to shy away from anyone, who tries to hold me back from moving forward. So, I know that this journey of mines is coming to an end very soon. Even though the flame is still burning, and I can't put it out just yet. God, I pray only if it's in your will, that the flame is put out... only you know what is right. I never thought in years, I could allow my heart to be broken and used. And these scars keep re-opening, just to be used again and again. So, I am waiting for that right moment, and I won't dear say a word. But, that moment you finally apologize because you were wrong and then it will be too late...you finally got what you wanted, and now I am gone. 

 Poetry Corner: This picture, I can not take credit for. But, I can take credit for this poem. No automatic alt text available.

My love

This poem is about this little guy here, He means the world to me. For many years, I had a fear of being around cats. But, the fear of dogs lingered more than anything else. I would barricade myself off, from having any human to animal contact with them.  As my years grew,  that fear of cats slowly faded into the distance. But, it all originated from a childhood past that all started from a fear of dogs. And some people may get it wrong, when they hear this about my past. But, I do carry a special place in my heart, for both kinds of animals. Especially, Hamsa, he is my adorable son. I can remember it as clear as yesterday, you were born. And it just turned six o'clock, when I was sorting and folding up the laundry. I remember seeing your mom, lying down upon the spinney chair. And I kept calling her to move to a much more comfortable spot. And needless to say: you were born that day. You were the tiny little super guy, out of your bunch. And multiple people trying to feed you...you refused to be fed by your mother. And that one moment, I held you in my arms as you were, wrapped in a knitted white cap, and I called you my little muscle man...you were truly special. Therefore, I kept pulling out a picture of, a red tail Siamese cat of mine... I had always wanted one. And sure enough, you became my son on, September 9, 2015. Question: When you think of love, what do you hold dear to your heart? Mine's is this little guy "Hamsa"

Inner peace

I tend to hold onto a lot of memories in the past. But, the ones that truly hurt me more, was the one that left a jagged hole in my heart that, was place there by you. And when I shed a tear that leave me to sigh, I really don't want you near my side...all you do is make it even worst. Lately, I have been in constant pain Physically, that its messing with me mentally. But, I have to remain strong so I can continue to move on. Through the years, your heart became like stone, and your eyes have sunken in. And your sclera is darker than before, showing me that its not even you any more. Therefore, it leaves me to question you. But, I won't take answers from the devil. So, I will leave it up to God to deal with you. Now, for many years I have been pushing very hard to, see the universe of independent. But, you want to continue to hold onto me. Like, I am still an infant, or a toddler. So, I am left in confinement from the outside world, watching traffic move freely, even though, there is someone, controlling the speed. But, in my head I am yelling: please set me free. And knowing that no one can hear me. The beginning of my life, may not have been a happy story. But, I came out as a surivior, and I am trying my hardest to break every barrier wall, that you build around me. I have tried showing you multiple times, all the things I can do independently. But, you constantly keep trying, to make me rely on you. I need my freedom, just like a caterpillar needs its wings. So, if there is anyone out there, please know I need to be free. Poetry corner: This poem is written for, people who are struggling for freedom and trying to voice it the best way possible. So, I write in term of "I" so it fits the reader. Note: I can not take credit for this picture. But, I can take credit for this poem. Image may contain: plant, flower, nature and outdoor.

Stagnant VS. Release Soul

For many years I had cried, and not everyone knew about this burden, I so suddenly hide away. My soul is not weak but, it has gone through somethings, which I only made me stronger. And each time negativity wants to attack me, I must release it, and turn it into something positive, just like this story. over a million of young girls, battle with self-esteem issues. And I have kept mines bury away... I was to afraid, to speak but, suddenly courage grew inside of me. And it has given me the strength to see myself in a better light. So, for many years, I wrote about tears, in my poetry, and that okay...my emotions are free from the negativity. And my words are now beginning read. I will continue to write in this form of release...this is what heals me when, I can not find positive medication to heal me. Especially, with this life journey of mines. I have been hurt, which created my water fall of tears that, has made me stronger. But, my voice needs to be spoken more, and that is were I am weak. I have the blood of the loin, pumping through my veins. But, the words I really need to say, stay strong inside my head. And I want them to come out strong, and not stay in my head. Please take me to: Wizard Of Oz so I can have, Courage, Heart and a Brain, to feel comfortable to speak...Words I need to speak!

In a world of it own

Sometimes I wonder, if I stop breathing, would my heart keep beating. This life is really a journey at times, I feel like I can not handle it. But, I must tune into my inner peace, to find who I really am. Some people will easily, mistake my kindness and, never understand what is truly going on inside me. I have fought to many battle, and I am still standing. And there are times when, this temple feels like, hell is burning through me. I have gone through, periodic tears behind close doors. But, I guess you did not catch that because you don't want to understand the true facts. I live with Hypothyriodism, and it mimic's other symptom's. Like, Fibromyalgia and other symptoms of its own. So, I have days were, I am extremely tired and just want to rest. And days were my body is, completely in pain. But, I still move the best that I can---I am the warrior that I am. Despite, Fatigue,Increased sensitivity to cold,Constipation,Dry skin,Weight gain, Puffy face,Hoarseness,Muscle weakness, Elevated blood cholesterol level, Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness,Pain, stiffness or swelling in my joints, Heavier than normal or irregular menstrual periods, Thinning hair,Slowed heart rate, Depression, Impaired memory and Mood swing. Therefore, when I say: I am not feeling good, take it in considration's, and don' t say: Me too. Poetry Corner: This poem is a real life story about me, and millions of others who deal with: Hypothyriodism, this is our battles daily.But, we still move through it.

Heart of Steel

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Abstract work drawn by Katrina Smith ©May17,2018 I never through in my lifetime, that my heart would spill all over the floor. And that you would be the culprit, with the jab of your tongue, cutting my heart wide open. The devil shall catch his own fire, when his luck runs out. I will only speak the truth...it shall set me free. I am like those monkey's, I speak no evil, hear no evil. But, I sure see evil. You may think, you have broken me in.Like, a pair of converse sneakers. My heart is still beaten and, will not end on your watch. You can throw as many jabs as you please, these eyes may show tears. But, I will not give in, nor give up until god says when. You are my ring of frustration that, I try to break free from. But, you don't seem to catch on yet...you got your tail stuck in some cement, and all you can do, is yep and yap. But, I am not through with you yet. And when my tongue has reached for the glory, and you become fire thats, when I am through. And I can finally say: I see no evil.

Pride

Some storms come in quite, and some come in deep. I will never understand your hearts intentions, or what my life is set out to become...of you not letting me free. I'm done seeing the horns of the devil, and hearing the words that don't even relate to me. My heart has gone through...many storms with you. If I tried to speak to heal this hole, you will only dig in deeper, making this soul tender. I will wipe out all these labels. Like, Jackie Joyner Kersey... I have been trying my hardest to win, where I need to be. And you keep trying to break me, into believing otherwise. I will continue to plant many seeds, in my path, knowing that someday, I shall reach them without a hassel. And not feel like, I have been pulled straight from the ground...a weed. I can sense that my future is not that far, and I know you can too. So, why are you trying to hold onto me... placing labels were they don't need to be. Poetry Corner: The meaning behind this poem is: don't let anyone put labels on you, Let those labels fly above you, and keep on moving forward.

Broken Hearts

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If I am water, why can't I put out the blazing fire. My heart can not take the torching pain, and it can't even stand the water from the rain. I hold my hand underneath my heart, to catch every once of blood when it drops. You really don't seem to catch the point, in where Am coming from. Your Sclera in your eyes are dark, blending in with the Iris. And your mouth has been totally stitched up. So, you can no longer speak. You have become the devil's emperor, and jive to his every tune. My heart will only see what is true... I can not hold onto memories that belong to you and me. Therefore, I have chosen to disconnect from you, as I shall continue to pray to the Lord... he is my only source. Poet corner: This poem is written about, moving yourself from negativity. So, you have to find what is right for you. Artwork is owned by: Katrina Smith

Heartless

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We are unknown spirits

Until, we have been chosen to live in human form.

God has chosen the woman to carry the child,

and he shall be the one to decide whether a child breathes or dies.

I see no remedy in a heartbeat that has been broken

because of your choice not to love an innocent child, that has not seen the world yet.

Broken hearts are like shattered glass,

In which you can try to mend back together again.

But, there will always be a small piece missing.

vessels snapped, like a corduroy cord.

Loved ones patiently wait to hear

About the child that was brought into this world.

But, you kept silent, until this point.

Family and friends should be celebrating peacefully with joy in their hearts…

rather than feel as if their vessels have been snapped.

Can someone please tell me why a child that has not been in this world yet…

had their life taken away so soon?

When it came to writing this piece of art,

I truly felt the need to speak up

for the innocent lives that cannot have a voice for themselves. 👶👣

Together in Time

I literally want to scream at the top of my lungs. But, apart of me just want to remain cool. You really don't understand my situation,nor do you understand me. I'm constantly battling a challenge, I once was afraid to share with the world. But, now I'm finally setting myself free. And some people will not like, what they read. And that is okay because not everyone story will begin nor end with a happy ending. I hope whatever you read, you begin to find it within yourself, how will you conquer, your own battles. And not allow someone else to belittle you because you have not found your strength yet. You may have found your courage. But, still struggling to speak your own mind, it will all come together in time. Some days you may have it all, and other days you may not. Just don't worry because it will take time. Poetry Corner: I have written,Together in Time, for people who have a disabilities, or just for people who have trouble with gaining their confidence in speaking up.