Some nights I am woken out of my sleep, and I am scared as hell. So, I topically let my mind begin to wander, what the hell is going wrong with me. Now, I believe it's my mind telling: me its about that time to leave. But, there are a few things, holding me back you see. And I am doing my mental homework, to figure it all out you see.
I just don't know how many times, I truly have to stress about not wanting to be here. And continue to hold up like, everything is okay with me, when I know my gut instinct is telling me its time to leave. But, I truly have to think, in the place of my son...I have to find a place that will accept the both of us. So, I can't just up and leave him behind...I truly love him you see, and he really means the world to me.
This is my time to remain humble and, work on this master plan...I don't see myself living here much longer. And only a few will, only understand me, or at least I hope they do...all I have is them to rely on.
Therefore, I am truly deep into my thoughts and remaining focus here... once I feel as though, I have built up enough courage and strength, I will leave with: a very well written thank you note. And I will know that, it won't just be my gut instinct anymore...I have many good angel's above me, who will be guiding me through this.
So, I am remaining silent until the right storm hits, and that when I will have my things ready to leave. But,until then I will won't say one word.
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