Sunday, June 25, 2023

Seeing through shadows

Gray splattered paint with a red broken heart. Text says seeing through shadows


The grass on the opposite side isn't always greener; sometimes it looks like weeks' worth of dog sh!t.   

Thought I was keeping my emotions to myself, but both yours and mine were found out. We discovered that we shared sentiments, and I debated whether to express them or keep them to myself.

I felt in my heart that as we talked more, we would come to know one another. Of all, you cannot get to know someone with just one chat. 
 

I'm not going to sugarcoat this event because you want me to keep it secret; it's genuine. You and I have both disclosed some information. After a year, it has unexpectedly ended, as we have been waiting anxiously to meet with each other to make things official.

Your impatience and persistent insistence that we meet together with each other were the main causes. Yes, we share the same anxiety. You are aware of my condition, and even if you weren't, I have made my living status known to you. But, you remain persistent.


As I maintain respect throughout our relationship, this is the calm before the storm.

 Our last laugh with non-relative friends was the night before church. I'm repeating what was stated in this case to make sure I understood what was said. I did until I got the message the day after worship on Sunday.

We resolved the issue, and you assert that you comprehended what I said. Because I was not available to answer your call when you called, the storm struck suddenly.

You've been waiting for things to happen on your schedule for the entire time, paying no attention to me or what I needed to get done for myself.  Until we learn more about one another, we ought to be best friends, you leave me with. I wasn't paying attention or wasn't aware that you were flashing a warning sign in my direction the entire time.
 I was able to maintain my composure while speaking with you because I am sensitive to energy both close and far. I surely told you about it as soon as I sensed it was about to happen. We ended up having a typical talk, or so I thought. Don't tell your pals about this. Through the computer, you can still talk on the phone and have video chats.

I don't mind having buddies. But I felt really uncomfortable hearing your voice, not speaking, and hearing what other people were saying about me. I was faithful throughout our whole relationship—or so-called relationship—holding back my emotions until I finally let them gently flow out.  I won't keep quiet, and I'm hoping that by doing so, others will learn never to fall prey to manipulation. What I have learned will be a very important lesson. There is someone out there who will treat me with respect and kindness. Value your partner's time as well as your own if you want them to value yours. And be honest with yourself about what you know and don't know.