Jealousy heart

I am done with trying to show you, everything I am capable of. But, you keep playing these: I am blind games. And see only what you want to see. Therefore, I really don't see any communication with you because of all you done. I shall not bring up every little pain, that you have cause my heart. And with every painful word, you have inflect upon me, my vocabulary becomes short with you. I really don't need your seal of approval any more...I already knew, your heart is full of jealousy. And I am not the only one who senses that. If you can not allow the light, to radiant your heart and soul, I must let you go. I have built my road to success, a very long time ago. And through that road, I have made quite of improvement, your heart did not feel joyful for. But, you want to place on a fake smile, and make up non exist stories of other people. If only fire can catch fire, you would be set straight. But, your time is coming very soon, and it will bite. Like, a toddler who poot in its diaper. If you stare directly into a lion eyes, you can easily sense their weakness. And that is something they can not hide. They want to be the center of attention, just like Gemini's, which is so fairly true. I may have fallen on my enchantment path. But, I have managed to brush off any gravel that cling to me...those hearts that are full of light, will see my progress. But, in reality I know you can careless about me. And that really tears at my soul, knowing you would allow jealousy to enter your heart. But, I knew for many years,your heart was never in the right place. And that really eats at my heart, knowing that about you. Therefore, I will keep moving because I know what you are after, and I won't allow you to hinder me. so, you can use me to know end. Poetry corner: This picture I can not take credit for. But, with every word that flows, came from me.

Air Against Fire

Every day I am thankful for life. And I can only thank one spirit alone for that, and that is my Father God. Each day he sees what I am up against, and he is there to guide me through it. Especially, when he hears my sighs of frustration, or when he hears my heart-breaking tears. God is the only one I shall only rely on. I know hearts are tangible, and very hard to repair once broken. But, if I kept count for every broken heart, my life would not be very strong...the devil only keeps track of that. But, I will say that God has given me a brain, which holds onto a lot of things. And I am very wise to see straight through the devil trickery. Therefore, when the devil tries to fight with me, I am not going to cut around, any brushes... you will hear from me. So, if my slang comes out choppy, that is okay because God knows what I am trying to say and that is all that matters. The voice inside my head says: Dear God, You see and hear my struggles. And you know what I am up against, you have built me to be a WARRIOR! with thick skin. And not to shy away from anyone, who tries to hold me back from moving forward. So, I know that this journey of mines is coming to an end very soon. Even though the flame is still burning, and I can't put it out just yet. God, I pray only if it's in your will, that the flame is put out... only you know what is right. I never thought in years, I could allow my heart to be broken and used. And these scars keep re-opening, just to be used again and again. So, I am waiting for that right moment, and I won't dear say a word. But, that moment you finally apologize because you were wrong and then it will be too late...you finally got what you wanted, and now I am gone. 

 Poetry Corner: This picture, I can not take credit for. But, I can take credit for this poem. No automatic alt text available.

My love

This poem is about this little guy here, He means the world to me. For many years, I had a fear of being around cats. But, the fear of dogs lingered more than anything else. I would barricade myself off, from having any human to animal contact with them.  As my years grew,  that fear of cats slowly faded into the distance. But, it all originated from a childhood past that all started from a fear of dogs. And some people may get it wrong, when they hear this about my past. But, I do carry a special place in my heart, for both kinds of animals. Especially, Hamsa, he is my adorable son. I can remember it as clear as yesterday, you were born. And it just turned six o'clock, when I was sorting and folding up the laundry. I remember seeing your mom, lying down upon the spinney chair. And I kept calling her to move to a much more comfortable spot. And needless to say: you were born that day. You were the tiny little super guy, out of your bunch. And multiple people trying to feed you...you refused to be fed by your mother. And that one moment, I held you in my arms as you were, wrapped in a knitted white cap, and I called you my little muscle man...you were truly special. Therefore, I kept pulling out a picture of, a red tail Siamese cat of mine... I had always wanted one. And sure enough, you became my son on, September 9, 2015. Question: When you think of love, what do you hold dear to your heart? Mine's is this little guy "Hamsa"

Inner peace

I tend to hold onto a lot of memories in the past. But, the ones that truly hurt me more, was the one that left a jagged hole in my heart that, was place there by you. And when I shed a tear that leave me to sigh, I really don't want you near my side...all you do is make it even worst. Lately, I have been in constant pain Physically, that its messing with me mentally. But, I have to remain strong so I can continue to move on. Through the years, your heart became like stone, and your eyes have sunken in. And your sclera is darker than before, showing me that its not even you any more. Therefore, it leaves me to question you. But, I won't take answers from the devil. So, I will leave it up to God to deal with you. Now, for many years I have been pushing very hard to, see the universe of independent. But, you want to continue to hold onto me. Like, I am still an infant, or a toddler. So, I am left in confinement from the outside world, watching traffic move freely, even though, there is someone, controlling the speed. But, in my head I am yelling: please set me free. And knowing that no one can hear me. The beginning of my life, may not have been a happy story. But, I came out as a surivior, and I am trying my hardest to break every barrier wall, that you build around me. I have tried showing you multiple times, all the things I can do independently. But, you constantly keep trying, to make me rely on you. I need my freedom, just like a caterpillar needs its wings. So, if there is anyone out there, please know I need to be free. Poetry corner: This poem is written for, people who are struggling for freedom and trying to voice it the best way possible. So, I write in term of "I" so it fits the reader. Note: I can not take credit for this picture. But, I can take credit for this poem. Image may contain: plant, flower, nature and outdoor.

Stagnant VS. Release Soul

For many years I had cried, and not everyone knew about this burden, I so suddenly hide away. My soul is not weak but, it has gone through somethings, which I only made me stronger. And each time negativity wants to attack me, I must release it, and turn it into something positive, just like this story. over a million of young girls, battle with self-esteem issues. And I have kept mines bury away... I was to afraid, to speak but, suddenly courage grew inside of me. And it has given me the strength to see myself in a better light. So, for many years, I wrote about tears, in my poetry, and that okay...my emotions are free from the negativity. And my words are now beginning read. I will continue to write in this form of release...this is what heals me when, I can not find positive medication to heal me. Especially, with this life journey of mines. I have been hurt, which created my water fall of tears that, has made me stronger. But, my voice needs to be spoken more, and that is were I am weak. I have the blood of the loin, pumping through my veins. But, the words I really need to say, stay strong inside my head. And I want them to come out strong, and not stay in my head. Please take me to: Wizard Of Oz so I can have, Courage, Heart and a Brain, to feel comfortable to speak...Words I need to speak!

In a world of it own

Sometimes I wonder, if I stop breathing, would my heart keep beating. This life is really a journey at times, I feel like I can not handle it. But, I must tune into my inner peace, to find who I really am. Some people will easily, mistake my kindness and, never understand what is truly going on inside me. I have fought to many battle, and I am still standing. And there are times when, this temple feels like, hell is burning through me. I have gone through, periodic tears behind close doors. But, I guess you did not catch that because you don't want to understand the true facts. I live with Hypothyriodism, and it mimic's other symptom's. Like, Fibromyalgia and other symptoms of its own. So, I have days were, I am extremely tired and just want to rest. And days were my body is, completely in pain. But, I still move the best that I can---I am the warrior that I am. Despite, Fatigue,Increased sensitivity to cold,Constipation,Dry skin,Weight gain, Puffy face,Hoarseness,Muscle weakness, Elevated blood cholesterol level, Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness,Pain, stiffness or swelling in my joints, Heavier than normal or irregular menstrual periods, Thinning hair,Slowed heart rate, Depression, Impaired memory and Mood swing. Therefore, when I say: I am not feeling good, take it in considration's, and don' t say: Me too. Poetry Corner: This poem is a real life story about me, and millions of others who deal with: Hypothyriodism, this is our battles daily.But, we still move through it.