Straight from the heart

Kill this numbness in my heart. I want to be able to say I love you like all little girls love their father.
You show no signs of affection, nor any indications that you truly care about me. I'm tired of shedding tears of the heart because you are not here! 

I can't cross that invisible line. I can't see. Growing up with just one parent hurts. I can never express how much pain I feel knowing that my father never took the time to get to know me. Even to this day, hearing lies after lies Not even a simple, "Hi, how are you?" Every day is ripping at my heart and soul. I just want to break down and cry.

I can go into the memory of writing to you, waiting so patiently for your reply. I can only recall one letter out of all those times. This letter is still with me today. There were plenty of times when I chose to give up on finding you. Just so I can have you as my father in my life, no matter how old I get, I will always want you in my life. This heart is broken into many pieces. I don't understand how much love I have around me. that my heart was able to stay together. But there is just one piece that just lays there waiting for you to piece it together.

It hurts that you make up excuses for why you can't pick up the phone or even e-mail me back. I'm sitting here playing the waiting game. A game a daughter shouldn't ever play. It's like you're mad at me for what has occurred. This incident should never have happened, but since it did, I can still live my life. Live my life with constant reminders: pop a pill in my mouth every day.